Regrets
by Ziggy05
Summary: Mrs.Lovett finds her day getting worse and worse an eventually finds herself making a decision about whether to go with Sweeney or to go with Toby. Rated T just to be safe/


Mrs. Lovett felt dull. Unhappy. She had gotten to bed at 1:00 AM last night, and had had to get up at six to prepare for the rush hour at 8:00 AM.

"Only seven hours sleep… That's hardly enough for me' old bones." She murmured to herself as she prepared Sweeney's breakfast. She didn't know why she bothered to prepare the fruit and toast. She knew that it would just go untouched, as usual. Well… It at the very least gave her a chance to show Sweeney her true feelings. In some way anyway.

"Brought you some breakfast dear." She sung hopefully, not bothering to knock. She felt a rush of anger and concern when she was greeted with the familiar silence from her landlord. Well… No. She was sick of this silence, and she felt the need to assert herself. "Can I ask you a question?" She asked, resting the food down on the mantel piece.

When no reply came, Mrs. Lovett feared that Sweeney would not answer her. Then, to her relief, Sweeney, who was resting an elbow against the wall, let out a grunt. Mrs. Lovett took this as an invite to continue.

"What did your Lucy look like?" Mrs. Lovett almost sighed. She knew that she need not ask this question. She already had the plainest idea. But… She thought with a yawn. If it kept the conversation going, even for just a few more seconds, it was good enough for her.

Again, the hesitant silence came. But this time, Mrs. Lovett was ready for it. "You can't really remember, can you?"

"She had yellow hair." Sweeney said finally, not bothering to even so much as look her in the eye as he spoke.

Well that about sums it up, Mrs. Lovett thought smugly. "Its time to leave this all behind you know. We could have a life us two. Maybe not like I dreamed. Maybe not like you remember. But we could get by. Life is for the alive." She rested a hand gently on Sweeney's shoulder, and then took a startled step back as he turned to face her, opening his mouth to speak.

Mrs. Lovett read the expression on his face._ Its one of those… What are you talking about looks, crossed with a hint of I won't stop until my daughter is here. _Again, she almost sighed, but this time she was only stopped as the door swung open, and Anthony stormed in.

"Jesus Christ, don't you ever bloody knock?" Mrs. Lovett was urged to say. She closed her mouth just in time, as tears swelled in her eyes, and she left the room almost immediately, not wishing to hear what the young man had to say to her Sweeney.

Anthony. Anthony was always in the way. Ruining her chances of ever getting closer to Sweeney. Oh how she wished she could put _him _in a pie. But she knew that Sweeney Todd, who considered Anthony a friend- or as close as a demon barber could get to having friends- and would never allow it.

This thought was interrupted by a pang of shame as she realised that she decapitated, quartered, halved and gutted Sweeney's innocent victims, only because of her fear and love for this man who she knew she would probably never get as a husband.

"Damn!" She swore. "He's too close to that bedraggled Lucy of his!" With a final angry sob, she stormed down from the top platform down to the bottom platform, and took a glance at the subtle clock in the room. 8:00 AM, it read. Mrs. Lovett let out a sigh and wiped the tears from her eyes as Sweeney barked a command at her.  
"Don't you think we should leave the boy out of this?" Mrs. Lovett suggested, trying to assert herself once more. One again, she failed.

"Just don't kill him, okay?" She added under her breath as she stormed off to find Toby. "Toby, Mr. Todd needs you."

"Yes ma'am." Toby said politely. Mrs. Lovett shot him a tight lipped smile as he walked up the stairs. He was a very polite, loyal little boy.

Ten minutes later, a thump came from the basement. Mrs. Lovett was startled and rushed down to the basement. Please don't be Toby… She thought. She let out a relieved sigh as she saw that it was just another one of Mr. Todd's victims. But she didn't feel like cutting it up. Instead, she just dragged the corpse underneath the sheet that hid the skeletons and left it there to decay. "Best if the public don't find any dead around bout's here, eh?" She said in exhaustion as she gave the meat grinder another grind.

Sweeney honestly didn't need to kill people every day, Mrs. Lovett thought to herself. We have enough meat in this meat grinder as it is. I usually just end up burying half the bodies or using them as fertilizer.

With a sigh, Mrs. Lovett got the pies out of the oven, put on her fake smile and began to sing her usual song.

_Nice to see you deary, how have you been keeping_

_Cor my bones is weary, Toby, one for the gentleman._

Mrs. Lovett paused for a few seconds, and secretly frowned. Toby… Toby… Where was Toby any way? It was now 10:00 AM and he wasn't back! Could Sweeney of killed him some way or other without her knowing?

_Hear the birdies cheeping, helps to keep things cheery,_

And I guess I'll have to throw that old hag out myself today, Mrs. Lovett murmured under her breath, as her secret frown turned to a secret scowl.

_Wots my secret frankly dear, forgive my canter,_

_Family secret, all to do with herbs, _

_Things like being careful with your coriander- that's what makes the gravy grander!_

Mrs. Lovett smirked. That and carefully degutting all the hundreds of dead bodies that keep raining down on you day after day. No herbs in these pies at all. She thought to herself coldly.

_Eat them slow and feel the crust how thin I rolled it eat them slow cos' everyone's a prize. Eat them slow cos' that's the lot and now we've sold it- come again tomorrow- hold it! Bless my eyes- fresh supplies!_

The song just didn't seem to have its usual chorus without Toby, Mrs. Lovett thought. She glared at a couple who appeared to be talking about the absence of the boy. As usual, as she sung the last line of that verse, her smile flickered slightly, undetectable to anyone who wasn't paying extremely close attention to her face.

_How about it deary, be there in a twinkling_

_Just confirms my theory, Toby, god watches over us_

_Didn't have an inkling- positively eerie… Toby, throw the old woman out!_

As soon as Mrs. Lovett finished the song, she felt immediately foolish. Why did she keep continually repeating 'Toby'? She knew very darn well that the boy wasn't here. Focusing back onto the song, she sure hoped that god wasn't watching over her and Sweeney… For several reasons.

"I'm sure I'll go to hell." She murmured as she trumped up the stairs, as the last of the customers left. "I know bloody well I will. Serving a bloody mad man in his literally bloody sins."

Mrs. Lovett knocked vigorously on the ebony door to the barber shop. There was a little hesitance in the opening of the door, and Mrs. Lovett winced at a disturbing gurgle from one of Sweeney's victims. She took her mind off the death by imagining good-humouredly what it would be like if some stranger walked in on Sweeney murdering somebody. Of course, she thought to herself as Sweeney's heavy foot steps approached, if that ever DID happen, I would defend Sweeney… Wouldn't I? From fear, Mrs. Lovett shuddered. Part of her wished Sweeney would get locked up. She was his prisoner, in some form, as much as she loved him.

Just then, the door swung open. Sweeney smiled his own fake smile at her and then lost it almost immediately when he saw that she wasn't a customer. "What?" He growled. "Shouldn't you be down in the bake house?" He suggested cold heartedly. Mrs. Lovett knew that tone was an invitation to get the bloody hell out of his room if she didn't want to be killed. No. She thought, as she almost reached for the door knob to leave. This time, I'm staying!

"Where's Toby! What have you done with him?" Mrs. Lovett sobbed. She was now genuinely concerned for the boy. It was 9:00 PM and he still wasn't back yet.

Mr. Todd made no movements to comfort her. His face didn't so much as twitch at her anxiety. "The boy is safe." He grunted simply.

Mrs. Lovett glared at him, her own face twitching. She opened her mouth as if she had something further to say to Mr. Todd and then stormed out, slamming the door behind her. She knew confronting him further would just end in tears. And quite possibly, blood. Her own.

She walked into the living room, and sat down on her deck chair in front of the fire. It only took her a couple of minutes or so to calm down. At least she knew that Toby was safe. She had never known Mr. Todd to break his word, or lie to her. This brought another round of shame down upon her, in the knowledge that she _did _lie to Todd. About his wife. About nearly everything. And she lied to her customers about the pies, also. She was a great liar, she was.

"Stop feelin' so sorry for yourself, Nellie." She punished herself, wiping away her tears. "I'm sure all this trouble will have a happy ending. I mean… There's good business… Money's coming in regular like… All that."

As Mrs. Lovett lowered her head back down to the surface of the deck chair, just as Toby came in.

Mrs. Lovett's eyes grew wide with relief, and curiosity. She was infinitely curious to know what exactly had been keeping the lad. "Toby. Where were you love? We had quite the rush at the lunch hour. Me poor bones is ready to drop."

"Mr. Todd sent me on an errand." Toby replied.

Mrs. Lovett frowned. She'd known that. Yet she didn't push the boy. He was too gentle to be scolded- in any variety. In any way. Instead, she stayed silent and rested her head against the deck chair, snuggling deeper into it's comfort.

"Listen." Mrs. Lovett opened her eyes and stared up at Toby, who had spoken the word. "You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I mean… If there was someone bad around."

Mrs. Lovett frowned. What could Toby be referring to…? Not Mr. Todd. Not him, surely. They- she and Mr. T… They had taken all the precautions necessary… All the evidence had been hidden. But as the boy lunged into song, Mrs. Lovett filled with dread. It was obvious to whom Toby was referring, and Mrs. Lovett knew she needed to do something.

"Say, Toby…" She said slyly, as tears filled her eyes. "You know how you always fancied coming into the bake house with me to help make the pies, eh? Well, no time like the present." She gulped as the boy nodded. Mrs. Lovett's day was getting worse and worse. And how could she just bump off the boy so remorselessly? She knew that she wouldn't be able to. Sweeney would kill him.

Sweeney. A sudden rage filled Mrs. Lovett. Sweeney was the cause of her misery. She didn't have to do this. Sweeney… Sweeney didn't even love her back. Fresh tears grew in her eyes as Mrs. Lovett realised what she had to do. She had to kill Sweeney Todd. Kill him before he killed her.

"Toby!" She said suddenly. "I've done something bad. Very, very bad."

"What ma'am?" Toby asked, concern and worry appearing in his eyes.

"I… I don't think I can tell you. All I know is that… That I have to kill Mr. Todd."

Toby wriggled out of Mrs. Lovett's grasp. "Tell me what's going on. Please." Toby now looked scared and confused. He backed away from the woman.

"You don't know what I do, Toby. Please, don't come any closer." Mrs. Lovett begged. Toby obeyed. Mrs. Lovett got to her feet. "Now I need to do this. Now or never."

Mrs. Lovett stormed up the flight of stairs in her path, and opened the door with not so much as a creak. As she walked across the floor boards she picked up one of the shining silver razors from it's box, and made her way over to Sweeney, where she grabbed him fiercely and held the razor to his neck. Sweeney's eyes grew wide, but he made no attempt to escape Mrs. Lovett's head lock.

"Why are you doing this…?" He muttered.

"Because you're a threat to my life, and to the whole of humanity." Mrs. Lovett sobbed. With one more final hesitation, she drew the blade across Sweeney's neck. She stood over the body for a remainder of seconds before panicking at the sound of Toby's footsteps. Quickly, Mrs. Lovett finished her own life off, and the final thing she did before she died, was clutch Sweeney's cold, pale hand in hers.

_At 10:00 AM the next day, the police arrived. They set up the yellow barriers around the scene, and made no attempt to remove Sweeney or Mrs. Lovett's hands. Toby had gone straight to the police with all the details that he knew upon seeing the sight, and in the end, there was only one final detail for Toby to be told about his adopted mother and Sweeney._

_The police confirmed that his suspicions about Todd were right, but that he was depositing the bodies down a chute, where Mrs. Lovett was thought to of have disfigured them and made them into her pies, given the carnage below. Toby lived a long life, but Mrs. Lovett's final words to him echoed in his head every day, driving him to near insanity: "You don't know what I do, Toby. Please don't come any closer." And his thoughts about Mrs. Lovett? His thoughts were that it should have been impossible for a monster like that to show kind of loving or compassion, but she did. And not just to the demon barber of Fleet Street._


End file.
